Teenagers suck

The worst age isn't 3.
It isn't 2.

It's 18.

The undeveloped brains.
The self-centered-ness.
The lack of remorse or empathy.
Is horrible.

They appreciate nothing if it doesn't benefit them directly, and even if it does, they overlook it.

They have fear.
It's only mitigated by criticizing smaller, younger people, or showing disdain for their support systems.

Devil children.

I am serious.

I have spent years, and especially the last year, taking this childwoman on college visits, helping with college applications, reassuring, emotionally supporting, listening, advising, buying stuff, and giving, giving, giving.

Anything in return has been weak compared with all of that.

Teenagers suck.

I try, I truly do. I try to dredge up my compassion. My above it allness. My better person, my example of caring, my "I know that later in life she will feel bad thinking of this" ness.

I'm breathing.
I'm tapping.
I'm reasoning.

She's screaming.
Swearing.
Blaming.
Threatening to leave.
Name calling.

I'm calling on every inner resource I have.
Everything I've learned.
All of my training.

And wine.

Stupid bullshit teenagers with no gratitude.

You can't go to college right now, maybe not even in the Fall because you might catch a freaking disease and bring it back to your family, and you know it.

You can't control what will happen because no one knows what will happen.

You want to see your friends, and you want to work, and every time you do, you think you're going to kill your parents. And you might.

You're a mess. We're all a mess.

Parents are freaking out inside as much as you are freaking out inside and outside.

This situation is a clusterfuck. The administration of this country is inept. We are all flying by the seat of our pants.

We need to be united and everything around us is divisive.

I need my kids to be reasonable and look to their parents, but they are not able to do that. They are just teenagers, walking the tightrope between childhood and adulthood.

I am offering a safe space which is easily discarded.

Every parent in every generation has dealt with this. My parents did. I gave them hell. I turned out okay somehow.

At least I think I did.

Being a parent causes all of that to be in question.

I'm drowning in hormones and angst and fear and frustration being thrown at me in buckets.

Goddess help me.