Haters and trying not to be one

I just had a huge argument with members of my family, specifically a few of my kids. They have friends who are Trump supporters.

I said that I don't see how to reconcile that. It seems to me that anyone who supports Trump must be fine with not allowing women to be in charge of their own bodies, or couples in love to be able to get married if they don't fit some limited definition of what's "ok" or "not ok" that they were taught by their church or something.

My kids told me that I'm hating on their friends. Or that I'm asking them to hate their friends.

I'm not. But.

I'm also not feeling like I can reconcile being friends with someone who thinks that my body isn't my own to govern. Or that I'm wrong for helping same sex couples get married. Or that I'm wrong for thinking that people of different faiths should have the the right to live peacefully in this country.

I'm going to the Women's March on Washington next weekend. I want to stand up for these basic rights.

One of my daughters yelled at me and accused me of being a hater to those who have different opinions. Me, a hater? No, I'm not about hate.

I am, however, uncomfortable, disturbed, and angry. And that's not the same as hate.

I don't hate people. I disagree. And I am also deciding to exercise my political right to peacefully protest, because that is the correct way to express discomfort, disturbance, and anger.

I am deeply grieving the Obamas leaving The White House, to be replaced by the exact opposite. Am I judging? Yep. Am I hater? No. I do not embrace hate.

I understand my kids' discomfort because their friends are their friends.

I am not friends with anyone who is a Trump supporter, I can't get past the idea that someone that is my friend would think that my body is up for regulation. I don't hate them, but I will not tolerate them either.

I don't care how much you want change in this country. Maybe I want some change too. But I do not think that sacrificing the things I believe in is necessary for change.

And that makes it irreconcilable.

I'm not telling my kids to dump their friends. But I'm saying that for me, this is difficult. They're kids. Friendships, social lives, school, and the day to day stuff is more important to them than their friends' political beliefs, and that's age appropriate. For adults, though, it's a different matter. It affects us.

I want my kids to have the choices over their own bodies, and their futures. So for this, I march. I choose my friends differently because my life as an adult is different. I don't expect my kids to understand this because their world revolves around different things.

But it hurts that they were calling me a hater. They judged me, and they don't understand because they aren't ready to.