This year, my oldest, is openly saying she hates services and doesn't want to go, and asking why does she have to go?
And actually, today I'm not going. Not out of any protest or spiritual angst, but actually because of a mistake on my work calendar scheduler that allowed someone to make a Reiki appointment instead of being blocked off, as I thought today was. This is a new client, so I'm not messing with it.
I am, however, going to come home and cook up a storm. We're having my sister and family over for an early holiday dinner. I'm doing the cultural thing, and that feels easy.
But, I had to respond to my 17 year old, and I had to be honest.
I told her that I understand her feeling. I also told her that she has to go. I explained why this way:
You're a busy teen. School and friends are your world, followed by family, music, and work, sometimes in different order. Temple and spirituality are very low on that list, despite the fact that you're a song leader for the Sunday School. So, the very few times that we go to services give you the chance to reconnect with some spiritual thinking - something that you do very infrequently at this stage in your life. It's pretty important to have some of that in your life. So, yeah, go to temple today.
I went to temple on Rosh Hashana every year since I was born. The only exception is the year we moved, because, well, we were in the last days of packing and physically moving from Ohio to Maryland.
Now, I've come to realize that the point is to have an active spiritual connection. And, I have that. In fact, it's become very high on my own priority list. I think about spirituality several times a day. I ponder the questions, I exercise the connection.
I'm in a Ph. D. program for Metaphysical Science. I'm working on the Master's portion now, getting ready to craft my Thesis and start writing it. It is, as you might imagine, heavily focused on spiritual thought. Besides that, working with Reiki connects me daily to higher energies, which is a definitively spiritual experience. Finally, I'm writing another book, which is about finding yourself - who you Really Are. See? More spirituality.
I just do not need to spend a few hours in temple to connect with spirituality anymore. So, today, I am not going to. And that's ok.
She also asked me if I'm going to fast on Yom Kippur. And, for the first time, I was honest. I told her that I'm not going to. I told her that I haven't in several years. For the same reason - that fasting doesn't serve me spiritually, but the other things I do help me embrace and deepen my spiritual connection. Fasting makes me miserable. It doesn't help me focus. But, if I wasn't participating in any spiritual endeavors during the year on a consistent basis, it would be a strong reminder of the importance of self-reflection, because it would be all I would be doing for about 10 hours straight. (Kind of sounds like "cramming" to me, but I didn't say that to her.)
I realize that there are many Jewish people who go to temple weekly, study Torah, maybe even pray daily, and love the High Holidays. And that's great. For them. They get something spiritual from the experience. I've always struggled with connecting that way, and I gave it a very good try. I mean, I have a Master's Degree in Jewish Studies, and I was a Jewish Educator for 11 years. I was deeply spiritually thirsty - starving, even - that entire time. Now, I don't feel like I need to do what they do. I'm happy to have found my own sense of spiritual connection, and that it has become fulfilling and gives me purpose. That's what spirituality is SUPPOSED to do.
So, I believe that if you have found your spiritual connection and it's working for you - meaning, it gives you an experience of deeply knowing that you're not alone, but connected to all life and something far greater than your own individual experience, and inspires you to think about the meaning of your time on this planet, choices, and relationships, then you're doing fine. From that point, you can choose what activities enhance that for you, and what activities don't.
Happy New Year.
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